drblake@towcounseling.org | 231-531-9057
Recovery Resources
Explore Dr. Blake's collection of articles designed to support your spiritual journey. These resources provide biblical perspectives and practical tools for navigating recovery with faith and resilience.
The Benefits of Entering Recovery
March 9, 2026
Choosing to enter recovery from Unacceptable Sexual Behavior (USB) is an important decision. It begins by admitting that you're engaged in sexually unacceptable behavior. While entering recovery is challenging, it offers a better life than living in fear, shame, and guilt. The following seven benefits are presented to encourage you to enter recovery.
1.) Becoming Victim Free - I've never counseled a paraphiliac (one who has ungodly sexual interests) who wanted to hurt anyone. The great majority of paraphiliacs do not set out to harm anyone. Nonetheless, people of all ages are harmed by any form of abuse.
Please don't fool yourself that your behavior isn't harming anyone. That's a defense mechanism used to justify your ungodly behavior, and therefore making it difficult for you to enjoy freedom in Christ. You may not be able to recognize the harm, however, please trust me when I tell you that others are always affected by USB. It's unlikely that your true self wants to harm anyone.
The primary goal of entering recovery is to prevent harm to others and yourself. If you do not want to harm anyone, learning to become victim free is all the motivation you'll need to enter a recovery program.
2.) Keeping Your Freedom - If you're suffering from unacceptable and illegal fantasies, you're close to losing everything you care about. Prisons are full of men who believed that their USB would not lead to incarceration. Only after losing everything does prison become real. Prisons are full of good people who failed to address bad behavior.
An obvious benefit of entering recovery is keeping your freedom. Paraphiliacs are imprisoned every day. Successful recovery will keep you from losing your freedom, family, career, and home. Now is the time to learn how to have a healthy life. I promise you that it is possible.
You're an important person with incredible worth in the eyes of God. "What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them" (Psalm 8:4). God does care about you, and He will deliver you from the bondage of USB, but you must first choose to enter the difficult path of recovery.
3.) Needs of Love and Intimacy Met - Many men suffering from paraphilia are afraid their needs won't get met in recovery so they resist it. Some men feel that acting out their USB is the only way their needs will be met. This is a lie. You can learn to have all your needs met by entering a faith-based recovery program. "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs" (Phil. 4:19).
Benefits of recovery include having your needs of love and intimacy met. There is no one so broken that God can't restore. "What is impossible for people is possible with God" (Lk. 18:27).
4.) You're No Longer Alone - Many men suffering from USB are afraid of being embarrassed by admitting to such unacceptable interests. But it's not necessary to confess your problems to everyone. Entering recovery only requires a confession to your mentor or counselor. "Confess your sins one to another that you may be healed" (Ja. 5:16).
The benefits of fully disclosing USB include support. You're no longer alone and living a secret life. There are people who will love, accept, and support you within the Christian community.
When you avoid recovery, it's much more likely that everyone will one day discovery your secret. It is better to enter recovery now than being discovered later. "...For he will bring our deepest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives" (1 Cor. 4:5).
5.) Learning How to Release Shame and Guilt - Facing the shame and guilt of USB is painful. However, not facing the shame and guilt of this lifestyle will continue to cause you physical, emotional, and spiritual problems.
Benefits of a faith-based recovery program include learning how to release shame and guilt through Jesus Christ. "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus" (Rom. 8:1).
6.) Learning How You Developed USB - Many men suffering from USB say, "I don't need recovery because I know I will never do it again. It was a single mistake." This is a lie and a dangerous belief. There were reasons that led you to act out sexually. If you're unwilling to deal with those reasons, you're placing yourself and others at risk.
The benefits of entering recovery include learning how you developed ungodly sexual interests and learning how to live a healthy, fulfilled life.
7.) Living a New Life - Entering a faith-based recovery program will give you a new beginning. "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun" (2 Corinthians 5:17).
The benefits of entering a faith-based recovery program include living a new life and enjoying a relationship with your heavenly Father.
"If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9).
All these benefits and more will be yours by committing to a faith-based recovery program. It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. It will be difficult, but an ungodly sexual lifestyle never ends well. However, by entering a faith-based recovery program, you will have a healthy and satisfying life.
I hope and pray that you will enter a faith-based recovery program and find the joy of Christian fellowship. God does care about you, and there is hope. "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Dr. Blake
The Salvation of Three
March 16, 2026
The Bible teaches that man is comprised of three parts; the spirit, the soul, and the body. Paul identifies man’s tripartite nature when he writes, “…and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thes. 5:23).
Each of man’s three parts need salvation. While the Gospel includes the salvation of all three, not all three are saved at the same time. Therefore, do believers currently possess salvation or is salvation a future hope? The answer is “both.” A Christian’s spirit has been saved (regeneration, Jn. 3:6); his soul is being saved (sanctification, Rom. 12:1, 2); and his body will be saved (glorification, 1 Cor. 15:42-44). Regeneration, sanctification, and glorification are biblical terms describing the salvation of the spirit, the soul, and the body respectfully. When Scripture uses these words, the reader does well to understand which salvation is being referenced. This understanding helps with exegesis (interpreting the text in its original meaning).
Spirit - Regeneration
The spirit is God-conscious. It’s comprised of man’s intuition, conscience, and fellowship. A believer’s spirit is saved and is perfectly righteous (Ephesians 4:24, “…you have been created in righteousness…” and Hebrews 12:23 “…to the spirits of righteous men made perfect”). A Christian’s spirit is the deepest, most noble part of a man and is his identity. You are a spirit, you have a soul, and you live in a body.
Soul - Sanctification
The soul is self-conscious. It’s comprised of man’s mind, will, and emotion. The soul is being saved and is renewed by the Word of God. Psalm 19:7 says, “The word of God is perfect restoring the soul.” And Jesus said, “Sanctify them in the truth, your word is truth (Jn. 17:17). Man’s soul is renewed by choosing to believe and obey the Word of God.
Body - Glorification
The body is world-conscious. It’s comprised of five senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, and feeling). A man’s body is not saved, nor is it being saved. In fact, it’s dying. However, it will be saved when Jesus returns (1 Cor. 15:42-44). Resurrection is the glorification of the believer’s body.
Understanding the salvation of the spirit, soul, and body is necessary to accurately divide God’s Word. We must know if a verse refers to the spirit’s salvation (regeneration), the soul’s salvation (sanctification), or the body’s salvation (glorification). Failing to discern which is being referenced can lead to a host of biblical misunderstandings. An ounce of error produces a ton of problems.
Dr. Blake
Myths: What Pedophiles Really Believe (And Why They Are Wrong)
March 18, 2026
When someone first sits down with me, after many years of counseling folks just like you, I have heard the same stories over and over. These myths feel true in the dark, but they're lies that keep people stuck. Here's what most believe...and what actually helps break through:
1.) "I am alone." - You're not. Thousands quietly struggle--men, women, even pastors. You're just the first one brave enough to say it out loud.
2.) "No one understands." - I do. I have sat with hundreds who feel exactly what you feel. Understanding starts here--no shock, no recoil.
3.) "I can't get my needs for sex, love, and intimacy met in healthy ways." - You can. Healthy connection isn't impossible--it's just buried under shame and unbelief. We rebuild it step by step, with real relationships, not fantasies.
4.) "I will always have an overpowering attraction toward minors." - Attraction doesn't vanish, but it doesn't have to rule you. Many learn to overcome it by learning higher truths--therapy, accountability, faith--until it loses power.
5.) "I am not a Christian if I have pedophilic or deviant sexual interests." - Wrong. Sin doesn't disqualify you from grace. Jesus came for the broken--Psalm 34:18 says, "He's close to the crushed in spirit."
6.) "There is no help for someone with sexual urges toward minors." - There is. Right here. Evidence--based therapy plus faith works--I've seen it change lives. It changed my life.
7.) "There is no one I can talk to without judgment." - You just found one. I won't think you're weird. I'll think you're human--and with great value.
8.) "It's okay if I fantasize--as long as I don't act out." - Fantasies aren't neutral. They wire your brain deeper. But stopping them isn't about willpower--it's about redirecting desire toward God and truth.
9.) "I'm not causing harm by viewing child porography." - You are. Every click fuels abuse. Real kids suffer--your conscience knows it. Healing starts with owning that.
10.) "Children, especially teenagers, can consent to sex." - Legally and morally--no. Brains aren't done developing. Consent isn't real when power's lopsided.
11.) "Pedophilia isn't much of a problem in churches." - It is. More than you'd guess--quiet, hidden, but real. Churches can be safe places...if we stop pretending.
12.) "Incest is almost always in lower-middle class families." - Nope. It crosses every income, every race. Shame keeps it secret--not poverty.
These myths? They're chains. But truth sets free. If any of this rings true, you're not broken beyond repair--you're just starting. I'm here. No judgment. Just help. Reach out today and begin your road to freedom.
It Doesn't Matter Why, It Matters Who
Exhibitionism
I was fifteen when I first exposed myself to a neighbor. The thrill hit like adrenaline masking my loneliness, shame, and deep inadequacy, even if just for a minute. For the next twenty years, I hunted for victims. Eleven arrests followed. Back then, cops called it a "nuisance." No one took it seriously; no real treatment existed. After losing yet another job, I started asking: "Why am I so powerless? What's wrong with me?"
My real enemy? Denial. I justified and minimized. Anything to avoid admitting I had a problem. Then came the felony. Enough misdemeanors, and the courts label you a "sexually delinquent," one day to life. That woke me up. I finally went to therapy, desperate to uncover the "why" behind my urges. Years in, still nothing. We focused on impulse control, tricks that worked...until they didn't. The craving never left. Even after prison, it haunted me.
I bought the lie: I can't be free until I know what caused this. Psychologists gave conflicting theories. One said I craved acceptance, another said control. Truth? I had no clue. So I kept exposing myself, convinced there was no hope, because no childhood trauma explained it. I didn't want to "manage" this itch forever. If scratching only made it worse, why keep living?
That's when I started praying Psalm 121. "I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth." God felt distant, but I knew: if deliverance came, He'd have to bring it.
A few years later, new counseling changed everything. My therapist said causation wasn't required. Freedom was already won at the cross. Negatively: my old self died with Christ. Positively: a new self rose in Him. Recovery is what happens in between, by trusting what God says, not what I feel. Freedom isn't earned by effort; it's claimed by belief.
This doesn't click overnight. Lies that chained me took years to uproot. But they can be uprooted. I'm living proof. My specialist in sexual addiction; he'll tell you exhibitionism is the toughest paraphilia, like the strongest drug. Don't wait. Call someone. Stop chasing "why." Seek the One who already secured your freedom. Freedom isn't about "why." It's about "Who."